Monday, July 13, 2009

B.I.L.F.- Michael Ignatieff

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Iggy, Iggy, Iggy, can't you see? Sometimes your words just hypnotize me, and I just love your neo-Trudeauian ways, that's why Harper is a douche and you're so paid.

Okay, I'm not the most adept lyricist, but I did manage to blend Biggie and Canadian politics. Commendable, no?

Anyway, Mikey Ignatieff's medulla oblongata has been giving me the squirmies since I had to start reading his papers as a Political Science undergrad. I remember sitting in the bathtub, coursepack in one hand, loofah in the other, thinking " This guy must be sexy in person. He's probably super arrogant and I bet he smiles condescendingly to people who try to counter his theses." I like those traits in my never-before-seen, unattainable intellectual crushes. Seriously, though, HOW F*UCKING RIGHT WAS I? Have you ever seen the Ignatieff smirk? I was basically dead on.

Iggy spends his days antagonizing the dough-faced, rosy-cheeked sweatervest lover currently serving as Prime Minister by publicly scoffing at his bills, rolling his eyes disdainfully at his attempts to undermine the Liberals and waving his hand dismissively at Harper's lame justifications for his own political existence.

So. Hot.

Yeah, so he's a little Ivan the Terrible, what with that furry brow and overpowering schnauz. But he's also a Harvard professor, renowned author and internationally respected intellectual. In my opinion, he is a commanding orator and a social visionary.

Whew. I have to stop before I start hyperventilating.

If you haven't read any of his writing, try his new book "True Patriot Love", it's brain porn.


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