Friday, July 31, 2009

Quote to live by

1 comments
Happy August long weekend, bitches! 
Thanks to my White Stepmother for the photo and Joan Rivers for the quote, which reads:

"Don't cook, don't clean. No man will ever make love to a woman because she waxed the linoleum-"my god...the floor is immaculate, lie down you hot bitch".

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

YUPB Icon- Katharine Hepburn

7 comments
" Life is to be lived. If you have to support yourself, you had bloody well better find some way that is going to be interesting. And you don't do that by sitting around wondering about yourself."

Do you ever yearn for a time when celebrities were mysterious beings whose personal lives were beside the point. A time when Twats like Heidi and Spencer would be screened by directors and casting agents who would inevitably toss them aside once they recognized their obvious lack of substance?

I do *sigh*.

I wish there were more women in the entertainment industry as fascinating as Katharine Hepburn was, what with her raspy voice, strange mannerisms and crusty defiance. Now here was a woman worthy of not only the time it took to see one of her movies, but also the hard-earned money you plunked down for that privilege.

She went from being labeled "Box office poison" to becoming the first actress to win four Academy Awards and she did it while shunning the stifling moral code imposed on actresses working in 1940's Hollywood. She wore pants before it was acceptable to do so, refused roles that could lead to bimbo typecasting and publicly stated that she thought herself too selfish for children in an era where such behaviour could get you burned at the proverbial stake. Brave.

As the daughter of the co-founder of Planned Parenthood and early pro-choice advocate, Katharine came by her individualism and liberal ideals honestly. She was so intrinsically independent that, when she married, she insisted that her husband rearrange his name so that she wouldn't have to go by the boring moniker Kate Smith; she also insisted on continuing to work in theatre. Later, when she decided that marriage was limiting her potential, she went to Mexico on her own to obtain a divorce because she knew that she would get jerked around by a U.S. system that punished women who tried to abandon their prescribed role in life. Then, she went about f*cking whomever she pleased while landing the best roles in the business and enjoying a career that spanned six decades. High Five, Katharine!

She was a true firebrand, a feminist before it was fashionable to proclaim yourself as such and a no-nonsense woman who oozed self-respect; a sharp contrast to the "stars" we are subjected to today who have the style and appeal of a set of french manicured acrylic fingernails.(Scoff).

If you don't love her already, you should start today. They don't make them like this anymore.

By the way, On Golden Pond (for which she won an Oscar):
Best. Period. Movie. Ever.
Trust.

Monday, July 27, 2009

Am I a lazy narcissist?

9 comments
While chilling out on a dock at the lake this weekend, someone asked me exactly what it is I do for a living. I hate answering that question because PR can be notoriously complicated and therefore so is any explanation of what I do at work. Usually, I approach the answer with a focus on social media and its role in achieveing business goals, since that is where my interest lies. When I started talking about how important social media/networking tools like Facebook, Twitter, blogs and even texting are to business growth, I was met with skeptical expressions. I had accidentally sparked a debate. Why? Out of the 5 people on the dock that night, I was the only one who used any of those tools on a regular basis.

Par-don?

How is that possible, I wanted to know. How did they stay in regular contact with people? Were they actually talking on the phone or (gasp) e-mailing? Does anyone even answer a phone anymore or check their E-mail inbox? I know I don't. To me, it's the equivalent of hitching a horse to a buggy to deliver a hand-written letter.

It wasn't like I was talking with a bunch of Baby Boomers either, the people on the dock were between the ages of 20 and 33, so Gen X, Gen Y and Millenials, all generations that are supposed to be technologically saavy. So what was the deal, then. Why the resistance?

Apart from the baffling assertion that "most people" don't use social media was that, if they did, it's because they are a "certain kind of person". The general opinion seemed to be that this "certain kind of person" didn't use social media because they were too busy, but because they weren't busy enough. Basically, people who regularly use social media tools are lazy and need to find something more useful to occupy their time.The concensus was that Twitter is useless and narcissistic, Facebook is nothing more than a time-wasting device and texting is rude because you should just dial a phone and call someone. I tried explaining that these technologies are mobile, so really most people aren't sitting in front of a computer, they are going about their lives while simultaneously using the technology for business or leisure purposes and also that businesses were increasingly making use of them. Face-to-face is still the ultimate goal but, when that is not possible, this is how people communicate now, I said. Nobody was buying it. "Look around, there are five of us here and you are the only one who thinks like that", I was told.

I was f*cking blown away.

Is this true? Are most people not using social media? Are the people who do use it just self-absorbed Tyras with too much time on their hands? Are other people still having several telephone conversations and sitting down to answer e-mail messages daily while jotting things down in their hard-copy daily calendar?

Have I been under the false impression that the world is moving in this direction and this is the new way to communicate?

Weigh in bitches, how big of a role does social media play in your life and who is using it?

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

WTF Item

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I had to share this text message from the website http://www.textsfromlastnight.com/

It just goes to show that being a teacher can be truly rewarding. Enjoy:


"My student wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+."

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

B.I.L.F.- Leonard Cohen

1 comments
I would hit it.

I don't care that he's 74. I don't care if he's all loose skin and old balls. To this day, I would hit it and make no apologies. Because Leonard Cohen possesses the kind of rare brilliance that makes any other man, young or old, seem like a drooling troll in comparison.

I discovered Leonard for myself when I was 14. My Dad had been insisting that "the man is a national f*cking treasure!" for years, but I wasn't having it. Here was the problem: I heard him sing before I read his poetry. Big mistake. He is not a gifted singer, and that is the biggest understatement since Batface Nicole Kidman admitted to getting "a little botox".

Anyway, it was my good fortune that my angsty friend Mike gave me a volume of Cohen poetry to read and...oh God. That was it. It was the beginning of a beautiful obsession that has outlasted all of my fleeting culturelust phases.

Nobody has a way with words like L.C. He can take an act that would make you punch a guy in the mouth for even hinting at in bed and make it sound like the purest and most obvious next step on the path to spiritual self-discovery. Pretty suave for a Jewish boy from Montreal, non?

In addition to all this, he is perhaps one of the most interesting men in the world; he has lived everywhere (including a Zen monastery), done all kinds of unseemly and seemly things with vagabonds, royalty and the everyman and documented it all with the most raw and powerful emotional force you can imagine. If you think I'm laying it on a little thick, try reading his novel "Beautiful Losers", then we'll talk.

Here's a short example of what I'm going on about:

If it be your will
That I speak no more
And my voice be still
As it was before
I will speak no more
I shall abide until
I am spoken for

If it be your will
That a voice be true
From this broken hill
I will sing to you
From this broken hill
All your praises they shall ring
If it be your will
To let me sing

If it be your will
If there is a choice
Let the rivers fill
Let the hills rejoice
Let your mercy spill
On all these burning hearts in hell
If it be your will
To make us well

And draw us near
And bind us tight
All your children here
In their rags of light
In our rags of light
All dressed to kill
And end this night
If it be your will


Leonard, if you're reading this, come find me.

Monday, July 20, 2009

YUPB Book Review- When I say no, I feel guilty. By Dr. Manuel. J. Smith

3 comments
Do you work with someone who is a total and utter jackass? Maybe you have a friend, family member or acquaintance who continually violates your boundaries. Whatever the case, most of us have encountered an individual who just doesn't seem to "get it". The real problem is how to deal with them effectively once they have become part of your life.

Well, TODAY IS YOUR LUCKY DAY (picture me screaming this Billy Mays-style)! I am here to tell you that you can peacefully co-exist with these people without having to repeat a song in your head to prevent yourself whipping a stapler at them with the force of a world champion boomerang chucker.

By the way, "Renegades of Funk" by Rage Against the Machine is a good song choice for drowning them out, as is "Drop It Like It's Hot" by Snoop Dizzle.

Ahem, but I digress...

Get excited,everyone! I am about to deliver you from the bondage of other people's idiocy. Your salvation comes in paperback form and is titled "When I say no, I feel guilty". Written by Dr.Manuel.J. Smith in 1975, it is widely known as the bible of assertiveness training.

Don't worry, at no point will you be advised to explore your irrational fear of the colour orange or trundle off to the forest to re-enact your birth. It is not psychobabble. It is a manual that provides actual techniques to deflect manipulation. The best part is that the techniques are bizarre and hilarious. But they work! I have mastered a couple of them, and they have come in very handy.

One of my favourite techniques is called Fogging. It is meant to help you cope with manipulative criticism without melting into a giant puddle of forgiveness-seeking, guilt-laden d-baggery.Basically, you refuse to debate the accuracy of the criticism; you agree in principle and offer no explanation. That way, there is really nowhere for the conversation to go but downinflames.

From the book (remember, it's 1975):

Critic: I see that you are dressed in your usual sloppy manner.
You: That's right, I am dressed in my ususal way.
Critic:If you were smarter and had some moral sensibility you could ask someone how to buy better clothes so you don't look like a bum.
You: Yes, you are probably right, I could ask someone to do that.
Critic: And what kind of hairstyle is that you have? It looks like one of those worn by dirty hippies!
You:I suppose maybe it does.
Critic: You probably would like to live like them; never having to wash and rolling in sex.
You: Hmm, maybe I should think about that!(Smiling)
Critic: All you do is agree with me.
You: That's true.
Critic: You sound like a yes-man with no spine or personality of your own.
You: I do sound like that, don't I?
Critic: You're doing it again.
You: That's true, I am.
Critic: Well, can you say no and mean it?!
You: Perhaps.
Critic: Don't you know?
You: We'll have to see, won't we?

*(I just want to point out that the excerpt from the book is twice as long as this and way funnier. The critic tells "you" that you have beady eyes, are sexually perverted and makes fun of your nervous tics. So good.)

There are more techniques, such as Negative Assertion, Broken Record (the most offside technique of all) and Negative Inquiry, to help you deal with almost any kind of difficult person. YUPBs, it doesn't matter if you work in the magical Land of Office Perfection where everyone is nice all the time; you need to add these skills to your arsenal.

This book is 324 pages long but the print is so tiny, it might as well be written for ants. Prepare yourself for quite the read. Take my word, it's worth it. Would I lie to you?

Rating: 5/5

Sunday, July 19, 2009

Word of the Week- Philomath

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Philomath (Fill. uh. math).n.

From the Greek philo (loving) + math- root of manthanein (to learn).

A person who loves to learn

For example: "You could tell by the way she spoke that she was someone who had spent hours upon hours with her nose in a book. She was a philomath, if ever there was one."

Thursday, July 16, 2009

In which I invite Tyra Banks to Sit the F*ck Down and STFU

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Dear Tyra Banks,

First off, I would like to congratulate you on parlaying your career as a model into a television empire. I applaud you for encouraging young girls to have positive self-image and for refusing to slink away in shame when pictures of you looking a little lumpy in a bathing suit surfaced a couple of years ago. Well done.

I admire your drive and ambition and I think that you have many qualities that qualify you as YUPB Icon candidate.

However, there is just something about you that rubs me the wrong way, and by "rubs me the wrong way", I mean makes me want to rip my ears off of my head and eat them whenever I hear you screech "FIERRRCE!" from my television. I don't know where it started, but I suspect it has something to do with the fact that you do things like this:




Oh snap, see what I mean?

Anyway, I understand that you aspire to be the next Oprah Winfrey. Before you go chasing that dream (read:delusion), let me offer you some friendly advice:

Stop condescending to people on your show. You claim to be a champion of women, yet I have seen you purposely humiliate unsuspecting women on your show more than once. Case in point:you badgered Kim Kardashian about her sex tape even though she was there to talk about her reality show. I don't know where you and your mighty forehead get off being all judgemental and imperious; may I remind you, you posed in various states of undress in numerous magazines over the course of your career as a model. You took off your clothes for money. Kim made a tape of her sexay times with her boyfriend, which she was doing for free, not for profit. You do not have the moral high ground. Next:

Mastering the art of "smiling with your eyes" does not a journalist make. You do not have the training, credibility or intelligence to be anything remotely like Oprah. You do, however, have the training and intelligence to be a histrionic narcissistic hypergelast(see word of the week). And, let me tell you, you are excelling at that.

So, Tyra, it is for these reasons that I would like to cordially invite you to Sit the F*ck Down and STFU (Maybe you would like to do this in a journalism class. Couldn't hurt, just sayin'...).

Triple Snap,

Shabs

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

That's my name, don't wear it out!

8 comments
Here's an e-mail I recently got from a reader. Thought I should share with you all:

"I have a topic idea for you: professional women taking their husband's name when they get married. I have not changed my name in ANY legal way. And I've told everyone that, yet EVERYONE addresses me by my husband's last name. I was completely called-out and berated by my in-laws for not taking his name, meanwhile my husband doesn't care one way or the other. Why do I have to give up my name? Why do I have to have an identity crisis with adopting a new name and have to rebuild my "name" again corporately and socially?

I got like 10 cards all from family and every single one of them was addressed to Mrs.***. WTF?!?! Sorry for my rant. I think it would be an interesting topic though."

Indeed, it is interesting. This topic seems to spark debate no matter where you go. Here is my personal experience:

After we had been dating for about six months and realised that we were probably going to get married, my now-husband and I had the name change talk. Mufti (that's what we'll call him) said something along the lines of " Yeah, we can get a sign for the house that says "The (insert his last name here) Family". I paused for a second, surprised that he would be so presumptuous, then nonchalantly replied that I didn't plan to change my name when I married.

You should have seen the look on his face. I might as well have told him that I slipped him a roofie the night before and cut off his testicles, which I was now wearing around my neck as a symbol of our love. It probably would have elicited the same reaction.

Needless to say, it turned into a huge fight. By the time it was over, I was AMAZED that I had just had an argument in which I had to defend my right to keep the name that had identified me my entire life. It was so thoroughly ridiculous, so offensive and, at least to me, archaic, that I made it very clear to Mufti that we were never having that kind of conversation again because it was insulting.

He thought I was insane because he had never met a woman who hadn't changed her name after marriage (What??Really?!).

You see, my rationale was this: I am a child of interracial hippie parents, very little in my life has been "traditional". I don't cook, I am not chomping at the bit to have babies, and I am not a dedicated housekeeper. Why, then, would I carry this old-school tradition into my post-second-wave marriage. why?Why?WHY? I paid my own way through University, got a degree, got a good job and started my career all under my name. Was I really going to repeat all I did to build that name over the years? F*ck no.

Despite this, just to not be a total shrew, I tried tacking my husband's name (not legally) onto the end of mine after we married. You know what happened? People just called me by his name and it made me cray-zay. I didn't feel comfortable assuming his name as my own. Eventually, every time I looked at him all I saw was a giant penis screaming "I OWN YOU NOW, MRS.YOURIDENTITYISINSIGNIFICANT!"

Aside from that, however, it made me realize just how much you learn about someone by their name; it tells the story of where you came from, it says something about (at least part of) your heritage. When explaining this to a friend, she retorted "Yeah, but isn't it just another man's name anyway?" Yes, but that man and I share blood and history. By changing your name, you disconnect yourself from that history. Sure you are beginning a new history and a new family, but you do that whether you change your name or not.

Does this seem obvious to anyone besides me?

Why are some professional women holding on to this practice? Convenience? Romance? Just plain old traditional values?

Did you change your name after you were professionally established? Why or why not?

Does your man care if you take his name or not?

Let's have it, bitches. I want your feedback.

Monday, July 13, 2009

B.I.L.F.- Michael Ignatieff

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Photo originally uploaded by kyle.mcmartin.ca

Iggy, Iggy, Iggy, can't you see? Sometimes your words just hypnotize me, and I just love your neo-Trudeauian ways, that's why Harper is a douche and you're so paid.

Okay, I'm not the most adept lyricist, but I did manage to blend Biggie and Canadian politics. Commendable, no?


Anyway, Mikey Ignatieff's medulla oblongata has been giving me the squirmies since I had to start reading his papers as a Political Science undergrad. I remember sitting in the bathtub, coursepack in one hand, loofah in the other, thinking " This guy must be sexy in person. He's probably super arrogant and I bet he smiles condescendingly to people who try to counter his theses." I like those traits in my never-before-seen, unattainable intellectual crushes. Seriously, though, HOW F*UCKING RIGHT WAS I? Have you ever seen the Ignatieff smirk? I was basically dead on.

Iggy spends his days antagonizing the dough-faced, rosy-cheeked sweatervest lover currently serving as Prime Minister by publicly scoffing at his bills, rolling his eyes disdainfully at his attempts to undermine the Liberals and waving his hand dismissively at Harper's lame justifications for his own political existence.

So. Hot.

Yeah, so he's a little Ivan the Terrible, what with that furry brow and overpowering schnauz. But he's also a Harvard professor, renowned author and internationally respected intellectual. In my opinion, he is a commanding orator and a social visionary.

Whew. I have to stop before I start hyperventilating.

If you haven't read any of his writing, try his new book "True Patriot Love", it's brain porn.

Sunday, July 12, 2009

If you aren't angry about this, you aren't paying attention.

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Originally uploaded by dno1967

While brunching with a couple of my very favourite fellow YUPBs this lovely Sunday morning, our conversation turned from our usual obnoxious and inappropriate subject matter to something far more serious: the trafficking of women and sexual slavery. Now, I have always said that if I were ever to lend my efforts to any cause, this would be it. 

Why, you ask? Why not Africa or racism or cancer research? Because the fact that people can and do repeatedly steal women from their homes and families, beat them, drug them, rape them and even murder them with little to no consequence makes me physically ill. More than once, I have fathomed what it would be like to be kidnapped and forced into a brothel in a strange place, having people treat you like an animal and having to find some distant hope to sustain yourself until one day, either through death or miracle, you can escape. Just try and imagine if you can. 

Horrifying, isn't it?

 The lack of action in this matter is nothing short of astounding. No country is innocent or unaffected by this worldwide problem, Canada included. A short visit to the Coalition Against Trafficking Women website gives dozens of examples of Canada's contribution to sex trafficking. Shame.

ANYWAY, imagine my surprise tonight when I stumbled upon a documentary on this exact topic while idly flipping through channels before bed. CBC's The Passionate Eye (love it) was showing the simply titled "Sex Slaves", and wow, it was truly heartbreaking. The documentary focuses primarily on a Ukrainian man whose pregnant wife, Katya, has been tricked into sex slavery in Turkey by a man named Vlad. The husband goes all the way to Turkey to retrieve his wife, harassing the pimp until they finally send Katya home on a plane. Only time will tell whether or not she contracted HIV from any of her rapists. 

Katya's is not even the worst story. There is also the story of two young sisters, Olga and Oksana, one of whom has already been lured into the sex trafficking industry by false promises of employment abroad only to have to escape eight months later; and the other who has no choice but to leave her country to try and make money for her extremely impoverished family, not knowing if she is walking into the same situation as her sister. We also meet Tonya, who sells herself into prostitution in hopes of paying the medical expenses and saving the life of her critically ill younger brother. There are several more women profiled in the documentary, each story alarmingly similar in content to the next.

So here is my YUPB call to action: as women who are lucky enough to have been born into relative wealth and safety, I think it is our duty to be aware of this disgusting practice and get involved in one way or another. Even if that means as little as spreading the word or as much as volunteering for an organization that works to fight female trafficking, any little bit helps.


By the way, Katya's kidnapper, Vlad, was arrested and tried. He got five years probation. He said the judge was " good guy who understands my situation". Katya had to have an abortion because the fetus was so badly damaged from the beatings and rape she suffered in captivity.

Tonya was sent to "work" in Turkey, but was arrested in a police sting and sent back to the Ukraine. Her brother succumbed to his illness only a month after the documentary was shot.

For more information, check out www.humantrafficking.org or pick up a copy of The Natashas: Inside the New Global Sex Trade by Victor Malarek, a Canadian journalist.






Tuesday, July 7, 2009

YUPB Icon- Tina Fey

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tina-fey-writing
Originally uploaded by
amatern
How do you not love Tina Fey? Admit it, the girl has got it goin' on.

Tina Fey first caught my attention as Jimmy Fallon's acerbic and bitingly funny co-anchor on Saturday Night Live wayyy back in the day (circa.2000). In five short years, between 1997 and 2002, she worked her way up to being SNL's first-ever female head writer. Now she's the star and executive producer of the funniest show on T.V., 30 Rock. (I can't even look at Tracey Morgan without laughing until I almost choke to death)

She's self-deprecating without being pitiable, scathing without being mean-spirited and hot without being tarty. Seriously, did you see her Sarah Palin impersonation during the U.S. election? Effing hilarious.


She meets all of the YUPB characteristics, she's successful completely on her own terms. Plus she called Paris Hilton a "piece of shit" on Howard Stern's radio show and was totally unapologetic about it. Word, Tina. Word.


Here's one of her gems:


"Polaroid is warning customers not to listen to the part of the Outkast song "Hey Ya!" that tells people to "shake it like a Polaroid picture", because that could actually ruin the pictures. In a related story, Bacardi is warning shorties to be responsible and not “sip Bacardi like it's Dey Birfday."

Monday, July 6, 2009

YUPB Book Review: It's Not How Good You Are, It's How Good You Want To Be. By Paul Arden

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 As part of my new commitment to professional development, I have been trying to read at least one book every month that will help develop my business or interpersonal skills. I picked up this little gem in Anthropologie at West Edmonton Mall. It bills itself as "The World's Best-Selling Book", which is exceedingly clever for reasons you come to understand as you get further into the book.

The author, Paul Arden is a veteran of the advertising industry and approaches the subject of personal growth from a client relations point-of-view. His overall philosophy is that  personal excellence must come from a deep desire to be far better, more creative and even famous than even you think is possible. It sounds like common sense, doesn't it? But he has some uncommon tidbits of advice that make this more than just your average "AND SO CAN YOU!" type book.

For example, the chapters "Put on a show", "It's who you know", "Do not try to win awards", "Compose your ad from the weakest point" and "Why do we strive for excellence when mediocrity is required?", all include stories from his personal experience that show that once you think you are doing a good job, you have already lost the race. Complacency and self-satisfaction are the enemy. Continue to think you suck, seek mentorship from people you believe to be truly talented and don't be afraid to create your own hype. Basically, don't become a self-satisfied pussy. 

The end of the book includes a section full of quotes that have inspired him in his professional journey. One that I found particularly intriguing is " Pink is the navy blue of India" another was" It's better to fail in originality, than succeed in imitation."

124 tiny pages make for a quick read. I think it took me a couple of hours to get through, but it was time well spent. Check it out, at the very least, it will jog your creative juices.

Rating: 4/5


Sunday, July 5, 2009

Word of the Week

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  YUPBs know that an integral part of networking is to not sound like a moron when you speak. Dropping "like", "y'know" and "OMG!" in a conversation with the CEO is not going to make a favourable impression (unless, of course, your CEO is the original valley girl, Moon Unit Zappa). Therefore, it never hurts to slip an interesting word into a conversation every now and then. It could go one of two ways: you may be remembered as the smarty pants who caught people's attention with her interesting word choice OR you could be remembered as the pompous woman who tried to talk over everyone's head by tossing out some obscure word nobody has ever heard of.
The point is, you'll be remembered. 
Here is the first word in the YUPB vocabulary builder, try it out and see what happens:

Hypergelast (hy-PUHR-ji-last). n.
A person who laughs excessively.  
From the Greek hyper (over) + gelastes (laugher), from gelan (to laugh). 
For example: "The bar was packed with laughing people, it quickly became a scene thick with drama queens and hypergelasts."    


B.I.L.F.

0 comments



kevin newman Originally uploaded by Robert Scales


Yeah, it is what you’re thinking. This is the first installment of “ Brain I’d like to F*ck”, a series celebrating intelligent men who, while not the hottest physical specimens, are cerebrally sexy.

First up, allow me the pleasure of introducing Kevin Newman, Global National’s very first anchor, executive editor and host of Global Currents.
He looks like a little package just waiting to be ripped open in that suit and tie, n’est- ce pas?

My one-sided love affair with Kevin began on the first day of the U.S. invasion of Iraq. I was watching the news, outraged at what was going on, and then suddenly, without warning, it happened...my ears stopped hearing what he was saying and my eyes started stalking his ring finger.

As you are all probably well aware, most news anchors don’t hold their hands up in the air during broadcast, and it took THREE WEEKS before I spotted the hateful little gold band. It didn’t stop me from watching, though, because by then I was hooked. Yes, he’s short and has an unsettlingly square head, but you know what? Kevin Newman is damn good at what he does. He’s been in the business a long time, he’s serious about his subject matter, his comments are intelligent and he is a fantastic interviewer. Speaking to this is the fact that he has won two Gemini Awards for Best Newscaster.

Okay, so he’s not Bradley Cooper hot, but his brain does it for me and I love, love, love the whole old-school Walter Cronkite Air of Authority/ Honour Roll Geek thing he’s rocking.
What do you think?



I Don't Think You're Ready For This Jelly

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Well, well. What have we here? 


Welcome to my blog about the life and times of a Young Urban Professional Bitch. 


Are you a Young Urban Professional Bitch? 


If you are a smart, proud, ambitious, capable, opinionated professional woman who refuses to live your life by some arbitrary set of bullshit rules and limitations, then the answer is yes. 


If you are vapid and boring, leave now and find a blog about Paris Hilton. You'll be right at home there.


I tacked "Bitch" on the end of the title for good reason: I am brazenly unapologetic about intending to have everything I want. I am working toward becoming more assertive, accomplished and in control of my life. I am determined to be someone that I am proud of. I want to know beyond a doubt that I didn't settle for less than I deserve and I am vocal about this pursuit. In some people's minds, this makes me a bitch. Whatever. I'm claiming the title and wearing it with pride. 


It’s not all about ambition, though. Like anyone else, I like to have fun and can be a little crazy at times. This blog is for women who know their worth, but don’t take everything so seriously that they can’t laugh at themselves. I don’t think one-dimensional women are doing themselves any favours; in fact, they are some of the most tedious people ever.


 That said, I am looking to engage women of my sort, to grow more YUPB's. They're increasingly hard to come by. Are you one?


I will be discussing all kinds of things that pertain to the YUPB lifestyle, both personal and professional. At times it will be serious and, at other times, frivolous; but I promise it will never be boring.


Shabs