Quote to live by

Happy August long weekend, bitches! 

Thanks to my White Stepmother for the photo and Joan Rivers for the quote, which reads:

"Don't cook, don't clean. No man will ever make love to a woman because she waxed the linoleum-"my god...the floor is immaculate, lie down you hot bitch".

YUPB Icon- Katharine Hepburn

Katharine Hepburn in "Little Women"
Originally uploaded by cliff1066

" Life is to be lived. If you have to support yourself, you had bloody well better find some way that is going to be interesting. And you don't do that by sitting around wondering about yourself."

Do you ever yearn for a time when celebrities were mysterious beings whose personal lives were beside the point. A time when Twats like Heidi and Spencer would be screened by directors and casting agents who would inevitably toss them aside once they recognized their obvious lack of substance?

I do *sigh*.

I wish there were more women in the entertainment industry as fascinating as Katharine Hepburn was, what with her raspy voice, strange mannerisms and crusty defiance. Now here was a woman worthy of not only the time it took to see one of her movies, but also the hard-earned money you plunked down for that privilege.

She went from being labeled "Box office poison" to becoming the first actress to win four Academy Awards and she did it while shunning the stifling moral code imposed on actresses working in 1940's Hollywood. She wore pants before it was acceptable to do so, refused roles that could lead to bimbo typecasting and publicly stated that she thought herself too selfish for children in an era where such behaviour could get you burned at the proverbial stake. Brave.

As the daughter of the co-founder of Planned Parenthood and early pro-choice advocate, Katharine came by her individualism and liberal ideals honestly. She was so intrinsically independent that, when she married, she insisted that her husband rearrange his name so that she wouldn't have to go by the boring moniker Kate Smith; she also insisted on continuing to work in theatre. Later, when she decided that marriage was limiting her potential, she went to Mexico on her own to obtain a divorce because she knew that she would get jerked around by a U.S. system that punished women who tried to abandon their prescribed role in life. Then, she went about f*cking whomever she pleased while landing the best roles in the business and enjoying a career that spanned six decades. High Five, Katharine!

She was a true firebrand, a feminist before it was fashionable to proclaim yourself as such and a no-nonsense woman who oozed self-respect; a sharp contrast to the "stars" we are subjected to today who have the style and appeal of a set of french manicured acrylic fingernails.(Scoff).

If you don't love her already, you should start today. They don't make them like this anymore.

By the way, On Golden Pond (for which she won an Oscar):
Best. Period. Movie. Ever.
Trust.

Am I a lazy narcissist?

While chilling out on a dock at the lake this weekend, someone asked me exactly what it is I do for a living. I hate answering that question because PR can be notoriously complicated and therefore so is any explanation of what I do at work. Usually, I approach the answer with a focus on social media and its role in achieveing business goals, since that is where my interest lies. When I started talking about how important social media/networking tools like Facebook, Twitter, blogs and even texting are to business growth, I was met with skeptical expressions. I had accidentally sparked a debate. Why? Out of the 5 people on the dock that night, I was the only one who used any of those tools on a regular basis.

Par-don?

How is that possible, I wanted to know. How did they stay in regular contact with people? Were they actually talking on the phone or (gasp) e-mailing? Does anyone even answer a phone anymore or check their E-mail inbox? I know I don't. To me, it's the equivalent of hitching a horse to a buggy to deliver a hand-written letter.

It wasn't like I was talking with a bunch of Baby Boomers either, the people on the dock were between the ages of 20 and 33, so Gen X, Gen Y and Millenials, all generations that are supposed to be technologically saavy. So what was the deal, then. Why the resistance?

Apart from the baffling assertion that "most people" don't use social media was that, if they did, it's because they are a "certain kind of person". The general opinion seemed to be that this "certain kind of person" didn't use social media because they were too busy, but because they weren't busy enough. Basically, people who regularly use social media tools are lazy and need to find something more useful to occupy their time.The concensus was that Twitter is useless and narcissistic, Facebook is nothing more than a time-wasting device and texting is rude because you should just dial a phone and call someone. I tried explaining that these technologies are mobile, so really most people aren't sitting in front of a computer, they are going about their lives while simultaneously using the technology for business or leisure purposes and also that businesses were increasingly making use of them. Face-to-face is still the ultimate goal but, when that is not possible, this is how people communicate now, I said. Nobody was buying it. "Look around, there are five of us here and you are the only one who thinks like that", I was told.

I was f*cking blown away.

Is this true? Are most people not using social media? Are the people who do use it just self-absorbed Tyras with too much time on their hands? Are other people still having several telephone conversations and sitting down to answer e-mail messages daily while jotting things down in their hard-copy daily calendar?

Have I been under the false impression that the world is moving in this direction and this is the new way to communicate?

Weigh in bitches, how big of a role does social media play in your life and who is using it?

WTF Item

I had to share this text message from the website http://www.textsfromlastnight.com/

It just goes to show that being a teacher can be truly rewarding. Enjoy:

"My student wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+."

B.I.L.F.- Leonard Cohen

Leonard Cohen em Benicassim, Espanha
Originally uploaded by maccosta

I would hit it.

I don't care that he's 74. I don't care if he's all loose skin and old balls. To this day, I would hit it and make no apologies. Because Leonard Cohen possesses the kind of rare brilliance that makes any other man, young or old, seem like a drooling troll in comparison.

I discovered Leonard for myself when I was 14. My Dad had been insisting that "the man is a national f*cking treasure!" for years, but I wasn't having it. Here was the problem: I heard him sing before I read his poetry. Big mistake. He is not a gifted singer, and that is the biggest understatement since Batface Nicole Kidman admitted to getting "a little botox".

Anyway, it was my good fortune that my angsty friend Mike gave me a volume of Cohen poetry to read and...oh God. That was it. It was the beginning of a beautiful obsession that has outlasted all of my fleeting culturelust phases.

Nobody has a way with words like L.C. He can take an act that would make you punch a guy in the mouth for even hinting at in bed and make it sound like the purest and most obvious next step on the path to spiritual self-discovery. Pretty suave for a Jewish boy from Montreal, non?

In addition to all this, he is perhaps one of the most interesting men in the world; he has lived everywhere (including a Zen monastery), done all kinds of unseemly and seemly things with vagabonds, royalty and the everyman and documented it all with the most raw and powerful emotional force you can imagine. If you think I'm laying it on a little thick, try reading his novel "Beautiful Losers", then we'll talk.

Here's a short example of what I'm going on about:

If it be your will
That I speak no more
And my voice be still
As it was before
I will speak no more
I shall abide until
I am spoken for

If it be your will
That a voice be true
From this broken hill
I will sing to you
From this broken hill
All your praises they shall ring
If it be your will
To let me sing

If it be your will
If there is a choice
Let the rivers fill
Let the hills rejoice
Let your mercy spill
On all these burning hearts in hell
If it be your will
To make us well

And draw us near
And bind us tight
All your children here
In their rags of light
In our rags of light
All dressed to kill
And end this night
If it be your will

Leonard, if you're reading this, come find me.

YUPB Book Review- When I say no, I feel guilty. By Dr. Manuel. J. Smith

Do you work with someone who is a total and utter jackass? Maybe you have a friend, family member or acquaintance who continually violates your boundaries. Whatever the case, most of us have encountered an individual who just doesn't seem to "get it". The real problem is how to deal with them effectively once they have become part of your life.

Well, TODAY IS YOUR LUCKY DAY (picture me screaming this Billy Mays-style)! I am here to tell you that you can peacefully co-exist with these people without having to repeat a song in your head to prevent yourself whipping a stapler at them with the force of a world champion boomerang chucker.

By the way, "Renegades of Funk" by Rage Against the Machine is a good song choice for drowning them out, as is "Drop It Like It's Hot" by Snoop Dizzle.

Ahem, but I digress...

Get excited,everyone! I am about to deliver you from the bondage of other people's idiocy. Your salvation comes in paperback form and is titled "When I say no, I feel guilty". Written by Dr.Manuel.J. Smith in 1975, it is widely known as the bible of assertiveness training.

Don't worry, at no point will you be advised to explore your irrational fear of the colour orange or trundle off to the forest to re-enact your birth. It is not psychobabble. It is a manual that provides actual techniques to deflect manipulation. The best part is that the techniques are bizarre and hilarious. But they work! I have mastered a couple of them, and they have come in very handy.

One of my favourite techniques is called Fogging. It is meant to help you cope with manipulative criticism without melting into a giant puddle of forgiveness-seeking, guilt-laden d-baggery.Basically, you refuse to debate the accuracy of the criticism; you agree in principle and offer no explanation. That way, there is really nowhere for the conversation to go but downinflames.

From the book (remember, it's 1975):

Critic: I see that you are dressed in your usual sloppy manner.
You: That's right, I am dressed in my ususal way.
Critic:If you were smarter and had some moral sensibility you could ask someone how to buy better clothes so you don't look like a bum.
You: Yes, you are probably right, I could ask someone to do that.
Critic: And what kind of hairstyle is that you have? It looks like one of those worn by dirty hippies!
You:I suppose maybe it does.
Critic: You probably would like to live like them; never having to wash and rolling in sex.
You: Hmm, maybe I should think about that!(Smiling)
Critic: All you do is agree with me.
You: That's true.
Critic: You sound like a yes-man with no spine or personality of your own.
You: I do sound like that, don't I?
Critic: You're doing it again.
You: That's true, I am.
Critic: Well, can you say no and mean it?!
You: Perhaps.
Critic: Don't you know?
You: We'll have to see, won't we?

*(I just want to point out that the excerpt from the book is twice as long as this and way funnier. The critic tells "you" that you have beady eyes, are sexually perverted and makes fun of your nervous tics. So good.)

There are more techniques, such as Negative Assertion, Broken Record (the most offside technique of all) and Negative Inquiry, to help you deal with almost any kind of difficult person. YUPBs, it doesn't matter if you work in the magical Land of Office Perfection where everyone is nice all the time; you need to add these skills to your arsenal.

This book is 324 pages long but the print is so tiny, it might as well be written for ants. Prepare yourself for quite the read. Take my word, it's worth it. Would I lie to you?

Rating: 5/5

Word of the Week- Philomath

Philomath (Fill. uh. math).n.

From the Greek philo (loving) + math- root of manthanein (to learn).

A person who loves to learn

For example: "You could tell by the way she spoke that she was someone who had spent hours upon hours with her nose in a book. She was a philomath, if ever there was one."